Remember my last post about my little friend and his mother's advice?
Well, I continue to find out more and more that just breaks my heart.
When he was acting out yet again (frustrated, refusing to work in a group, etc), we sat down to have a little chat. As I tried to draw him out of his meltdown, he let me see a glimpse into his life. "I don't like to work with groups because I do everything by myself at home. No one ever helps me. My parents told me I was a mistake and that I wasn't even supposed to be born."
Really, Mom, did you think that was a good idea to tell your young son that? Really? I could just slap her.
I can't imagine what life is like for this child as he goes about his days thinking that he shouldn't even be here. He feels he is worth nothing!
Then, I did something totally illegal.
I told him "God doesn't make mistakes." (Yikes! Am I going to get fired for this? That's what I was thinking) "I don't believe in God," he said. As we continued to talk, I tried to choose my words wisely as I attempted to show him the love that I have for him as well as his Heavenly Father, along with his earthly father, with whom he lives. While I'm not sure if I made a difference with this conversation or not, I pray that I can shine a light on all that this child has to live for. I hope that, throught the rest of this year, I am able to help him see that he has much to offer to the world and that the Lord has a special purpose in mind just for him.
Now, it is much easier for me to think about him in this way as I sit at home on my 3-day weekend (yay!) but the hard part is showing the same patience when he continues to be defiant and difficult and disruptive when we go back to school on Tuesday. I count myself blessed to have the opportunity to work with a child in this way, but I have absolutely no idea how I can make even the slightest impression with my little experience and lack of wisdom in teaching and handling children's issues and hurts. Furthermore, I hate that, even knowing his background, he will still make me angry and frustrated and quite possibly ruin many of my days to come.
Ugh, the irony.
This is yet another lesson along this roller coaster of teaching that I have experienced so far this year. It is amazing how much one can learn in such a short amount of time. I also realize more and more that, no matter how long I teach, I will never be prepared for everything that comes my way. The only possible solution is to take it 1 day, 1 week, 1 quarter, 1 semester at a time. It is exhausting. I just had a 4-day weekend last weekend, then a full week of school, and now another 3-day weekend. And I'm still exhausted. I wonder if I will ever feel caught up?
From the wondering mind of,
Miss Davis
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Bliss
Woo-hoo! I officially have a 4 day weekend because they cancelled the next 2 days of school due to ridiculously low temperatures and "winter weather" headed our way. Hooray! I am officially a huge fan of chilly weather and snow days. Oh what a wonderful feeling! Oh what a wonderful day!
Now, let's go back to these first 3 days back to school.
I am currently in a state of complete confusion.
On Monday, I was greeted by a well-behaved, quiet, kind, and overall fantastic class. They have continued to show up every day this week. I'm not sure what happened to my other class over Christmas break but I'm pretty sure these aren't the same kids.
I feel really good about how I started off the semester on Monday. We spent the whole afternoon discussing procedures and practicing them, and I impressed upon them EXACTLY what I expected from them. I modeled routines, they modeled routines. I also introduced a small incentive that I hope they will really enjoy (they definitely seem to so far!). I have a small plastic gold star trophy that I have not found a purpose for yet. When I was thinking about how to encourage correct procedures, I decided to break out the trophy and award it to the procedure "ROCKSTAR!" of the day--the student who demonstrated the best procedures throughout the day. So far, my kids LOVE it! They anxiously await as I drag out my announcement at the end of the day. They get to keep the trophy on their desk throughout the next day, and then I announce another student. There are also a few other small privileges for being the Rockstar. On the first day, I gave it to one student who, last semester, seemed highly unmotivated, but had a great day on Monday. When she got the trophy Monday afternoon, our very first Rockstar, she was surprised, and she has been wonderful all week. I am glad this has, hopefully, boosted motivation a bit!
Back to the original topic though... my kids have been just wonderful and I am amazed! I discussed the phenomenon with a few of the other teachers who have not had such smooth returns. I don't know what's going on, but I'm loving it! It just makes me nervous that it's going to explode in my face soon. :) I don't expect all great days, but it would be nice to experience more like this week!
The one incident that I had was with one of my boys. Every once in awhile he has "meltdowns" where he gets frustrated over something small. While practicing some words for the school spelling bee, one of his classmates gave him a word that he didn't know how to spell (hence the reason for practice?). He refused to spell it, and went and sat in the corner.We had a discussion about still trying things even when it is hard or frustrating. My jaw dropped when his response was "My mom told me I didn't have to try if something was too hard." Knowing his background and his mother's current situation (in and out of a mental hospital because she has episodes in which she "goes crazy"), I am sure that his mother did actually tell him this. When I spoke with his father, he confirmed that the mother indeed held this philosophy in life. Wow. As we went further in the conversation, we discussed the student's lack of respect shown toward his group and to me. Again, my jaw dropped when he told me that he "doesn't have to show respect." WHAT? Really? This boy was bold enough to tell a teacher that he doesn't think he needs to be respectful to her. After continued discussion and the input of the special ed teacher, he acknowledged that he did need to show respect and we discussed a logical consequence. That boy has got some serious issues! Though my blood was boiling throughout our conversation about respect, I hope that I can teach him some life lessons by the end of the school year.
Wow, that was long. But I had to share that insane conversation that I still can't believe I had with a fourth grader.
And now, I am off to enjoy 2 snow days and the weekend!
From the cozy, warm kitchen of,
Miss Davis
Now, let's go back to these first 3 days back to school.
I am currently in a state of complete confusion.
On Monday, I was greeted by a well-behaved, quiet, kind, and overall fantastic class. They have continued to show up every day this week. I'm not sure what happened to my other class over Christmas break but I'm pretty sure these aren't the same kids.
I feel really good about how I started off the semester on Monday. We spent the whole afternoon discussing procedures and practicing them, and I impressed upon them EXACTLY what I expected from them. I modeled routines, they modeled routines. I also introduced a small incentive that I hope they will really enjoy (they definitely seem to so far!). I have a small plastic gold star trophy that I have not found a purpose for yet. When I was thinking about how to encourage correct procedures, I decided to break out the trophy and award it to the procedure "ROCKSTAR!" of the day--the student who demonstrated the best procedures throughout the day. So far, my kids LOVE it! They anxiously await as I drag out my announcement at the end of the day. They get to keep the trophy on their desk throughout the next day, and then I announce another student. There are also a few other small privileges for being the Rockstar. On the first day, I gave it to one student who, last semester, seemed highly unmotivated, but had a great day on Monday. When she got the trophy Monday afternoon, our very first Rockstar, she was surprised, and she has been wonderful all week. I am glad this has, hopefully, boosted motivation a bit!
Back to the original topic though... my kids have been just wonderful and I am amazed! I discussed the phenomenon with a few of the other teachers who have not had such smooth returns. I don't know what's going on, but I'm loving it! It just makes me nervous that it's going to explode in my face soon. :) I don't expect all great days, but it would be nice to experience more like this week!
The one incident that I had was with one of my boys. Every once in awhile he has "meltdowns" where he gets frustrated over something small. While practicing some words for the school spelling bee, one of his classmates gave him a word that he didn't know how to spell (hence the reason for practice?). He refused to spell it, and went and sat in the corner.We had a discussion about still trying things even when it is hard or frustrating. My jaw dropped when his response was "My mom told me I didn't have to try if something was too hard." Knowing his background and his mother's current situation (in and out of a mental hospital because she has episodes in which she "goes crazy"), I am sure that his mother did actually tell him this. When I spoke with his father, he confirmed that the mother indeed held this philosophy in life. Wow. As we went further in the conversation, we discussed the student's lack of respect shown toward his group and to me. Again, my jaw dropped when he told me that he "doesn't have to show respect." WHAT? Really? This boy was bold enough to tell a teacher that he doesn't think he needs to be respectful to her. After continued discussion and the input of the special ed teacher, he acknowledged that he did need to show respect and we discussed a logical consequence. That boy has got some serious issues! Though my blood was boiling throughout our conversation about respect, I hope that I can teach him some life lessons by the end of the school year.
Wow, that was long. But I had to share that insane conversation that I still can't believe I had with a fourth grader.
And now, I am off to enjoy 2 snow days and the weekend!
From the cozy, warm kitchen of,
Miss Davis
Thursday, December 31, 2009
A Fresh Start
Well, it is Thursday of Week 2 of Christmas Break, which means it's almost over! I have enjoyed every minute of sleeping in and not thinking about what I had to do for school the next day. I feel like I've had time to recooperate, regroup, and rethink some things that I would like to change.
When the year started, since I was starting at a new school, I was not familiar with school-wide procedures and therefore had a really hard time teaching them to my kids. My expectations for their line, hallway, lunch, and recess procedures were unclear because I didn't know them! Now that I am aware of all of them and how they work, we are going to spend a lot of time modeling and practicing on Monday and throughout the week (and the coming weeks, if we need!). For first year teachers, this is such a struggle because we are expected to teach procedures explicitly, but we don't even know what they are! Even if they are explained, it is hard to know exactly how to teach them before you've seen them.
Also, as a first year teacher, I was not quite sure at the beginning of the year how things would run inside the classroom. For example, morning routines that include breakfast, handing in homework, gathering pencils, etc, were a struggle for me to really figure out and decide on what routine would be best. Because I struggled with it, my kids also struggled with it. Very frustrating! I have now seen what works and what doesn't, so I will be going over specific steps for students to take to accomplish things within the classroom, and having them model the correct way. This is something else you just can't figure out until you've been in your classroom for awhile.
The last change I am going to make is to rearrange my schedule within the classroom. I haven't made the best use of my time in the classroom simply because I made my schedule at the beginning and haven't had a minute to examine it and make any major changes. After teaching for a semester, I can see where I can rearrange activities like read aloud and silent reading to make it fit better in the schedule and make better use of our time. Again, how could I understand this until I've seen it in the classroom?
I'm glad I've had this chance to seriously reflect upon the last semester and hopefully use what I've observed to make this next semester much smoother. I have struggled and struggled with classroom management, much due to my inexperience and also due to the unique issues my kids are bringing in. It is nice to see other teachers recognizing that I have an especially difficult group of students, but does not change the fact that they all still have to learn and succeed, no matter what issues they have! My fervent hope is that if I can be more explicit about what I expect for procedures, behaviors, and routines, they will have a much easier time following those procedures and therefore making the classroom day much smoother and less frustrating for them and for me. It's amazing to see that the year is half over, but also overwhelming to think about how many days I still have to plan for before the whole year is over!
And now, it's time to begin the task of lesson-planning for next week. I am especially nervous about our upcoming math unit, which is division! With students who are still struggling with multiplication, I am not feeling confident about my abilities to make them successful with division! I am going to start with lots of concrete models and hope that we can move on from there. We'll see!
Ready or not, here comes the next semester!
From the very hopeful,
Miss Davis
When the year started, since I was starting at a new school, I was not familiar with school-wide procedures and therefore had a really hard time teaching them to my kids. My expectations for their line, hallway, lunch, and recess procedures were unclear because I didn't know them! Now that I am aware of all of them and how they work, we are going to spend a lot of time modeling and practicing on Monday and throughout the week (and the coming weeks, if we need!). For first year teachers, this is such a struggle because we are expected to teach procedures explicitly, but we don't even know what they are! Even if they are explained, it is hard to know exactly how to teach them before you've seen them.
Also, as a first year teacher, I was not quite sure at the beginning of the year how things would run inside the classroom. For example, morning routines that include breakfast, handing in homework, gathering pencils, etc, were a struggle for me to really figure out and decide on what routine would be best. Because I struggled with it, my kids also struggled with it. Very frustrating! I have now seen what works and what doesn't, so I will be going over specific steps for students to take to accomplish things within the classroom, and having them model the correct way. This is something else you just can't figure out until you've been in your classroom for awhile.
The last change I am going to make is to rearrange my schedule within the classroom. I haven't made the best use of my time in the classroom simply because I made my schedule at the beginning and haven't had a minute to examine it and make any major changes. After teaching for a semester, I can see where I can rearrange activities like read aloud and silent reading to make it fit better in the schedule and make better use of our time. Again, how could I understand this until I've seen it in the classroom?
I'm glad I've had this chance to seriously reflect upon the last semester and hopefully use what I've observed to make this next semester much smoother. I have struggled and struggled with classroom management, much due to my inexperience and also due to the unique issues my kids are bringing in. It is nice to see other teachers recognizing that I have an especially difficult group of students, but does not change the fact that they all still have to learn and succeed, no matter what issues they have! My fervent hope is that if I can be more explicit about what I expect for procedures, behaviors, and routines, they will have a much easier time following those procedures and therefore making the classroom day much smoother and less frustrating for them and for me. It's amazing to see that the year is half over, but also overwhelming to think about how many days I still have to plan for before the whole year is over!
And now, it's time to begin the task of lesson-planning for next week. I am especially nervous about our upcoming math unit, which is division! With students who are still struggling with multiplication, I am not feeling confident about my abilities to make them successful with division! I am going to start with lots of concrete models and hope that we can move on from there. We'll see!
Ready or not, here comes the next semester!
From the very hopeful,
Miss Davis
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Christmas break!
It has arrived!
The blessed Christmas break is finally here. I am HALFWAY DONE with my first year of teaching! 3 cheers!
What a long week it has been as my kiddos and I were just ready to be done. We had benchmark tests this week which makes for a bit of a change in schedule on top of the Christmas programs and parties, so overall, it was just a crazy week. I kind of like the crazy weeks, though . . . is that bad? I like having a break in routine.
So, for once, my kids did well on their benchmark tests in math! Reading, not so much. But all of my kids but one passed the math, which is a major improvement! It was a nice feeling to see those scores come back. Now, if only I could get them going on reading. It's strange for me to see success for them in math, and not reading, because I always thought that I would be a much better reading teacher than math teacher. I realize now how much easier it is to teach math (at least for me) because it is so much more straight-forward than reading. While there might be more than one way to find an answer, there is still just one specific answer. There are specific steps that have to be taken and taught. Reading, on the other hand, is much more difficult because it just seems like every single child is at a different starting point and even in small groups I have a hard time meeting all of them where they need it. And how do you teach someone a skill like inferencing when they can't figure out how to sound out a word? Simply put, teaching reading is just . . . messy.
Actually, teaching in general is messy. Kids are messy, their home lives are messy, papers are messy, grading is messy, testing is messy. It's all just way more difficult than it appears. I am ready to start over and regroup. I am ready for new organization of papers and baskets and books. I am ready for a new seating arrangement. I am ready for new things on the walls. I am ready to rethink some procedures. I am ready for a fresh start, and I'm hoping I can get that in January. I would like to spend a day or two just reviewing/introducing procedures again, and hope for a smoother semester than the last one (I'm not counting on it, but we'll see).
The Christmas party on Friday was crazy, but I didn't mind. They have put up with me learning how to be a teacher with them, so I think they deserve a little reward. :) It was a surprise to receive sweet gifts, cards, and candy from a few of my students, because I wasn't expecting anything from these families that I know have very little. It's amazing how some people are so giving even when they don't have much themselves. I am pretty sure that I have learned more from these students than I have taught them.
And now, I'm signing off for a few weeks and enjoying sleeping in (that is, until 7 am, which is sleeping in when one gets up at 5:15 everyday), hanging out with my fiance, and Christmas shopping (which I have had time to do NONE of yet)!
Have a blessed Christmas! And remember why we are celebrating. God has given us the greatest gift and I love that we have time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ at this time of the year.
From the candy-covered desk of,
Miss Davis
The blessed Christmas break is finally here. I am HALFWAY DONE with my first year of teaching! 3 cheers!
What a long week it has been as my kiddos and I were just ready to be done. We had benchmark tests this week which makes for a bit of a change in schedule on top of the Christmas programs and parties, so overall, it was just a crazy week. I kind of like the crazy weeks, though . . . is that bad? I like having a break in routine.
So, for once, my kids did well on their benchmark tests in math! Reading, not so much. But all of my kids but one passed the math, which is a major improvement! It was a nice feeling to see those scores come back. Now, if only I could get them going on reading. It's strange for me to see success for them in math, and not reading, because I always thought that I would be a much better reading teacher than math teacher. I realize now how much easier it is to teach math (at least for me) because it is so much more straight-forward than reading. While there might be more than one way to find an answer, there is still just one specific answer. There are specific steps that have to be taken and taught. Reading, on the other hand, is much more difficult because it just seems like every single child is at a different starting point and even in small groups I have a hard time meeting all of them where they need it. And how do you teach someone a skill like inferencing when they can't figure out how to sound out a word? Simply put, teaching reading is just . . . messy.
Actually, teaching in general is messy. Kids are messy, their home lives are messy, papers are messy, grading is messy, testing is messy. It's all just way more difficult than it appears. I am ready to start over and regroup. I am ready for new organization of papers and baskets and books. I am ready for a new seating arrangement. I am ready for new things on the walls. I am ready to rethink some procedures. I am ready for a fresh start, and I'm hoping I can get that in January. I would like to spend a day or two just reviewing/introducing procedures again, and hope for a smoother semester than the last one (I'm not counting on it, but we'll see).
The Christmas party on Friday was crazy, but I didn't mind. They have put up with me learning how to be a teacher with them, so I think they deserve a little reward. :) It was a surprise to receive sweet gifts, cards, and candy from a few of my students, because I wasn't expecting anything from these families that I know have very little. It's amazing how some people are so giving even when they don't have much themselves. I am pretty sure that I have learned more from these students than I have taught them.
And now, I'm signing off for a few weeks and enjoying sleeping in (that is, until 7 am, which is sleeping in when one gets up at 5:15 everyday), hanging out with my fiance, and Christmas shopping (which I have had time to do NONE of yet)!
Have a blessed Christmas! And remember why we are celebrating. God has given us the greatest gift and I love that we have time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ at this time of the year.
From the candy-covered desk of,
Miss Davis
Monday, December 14, 2009
Motivation?
So, we finished last week on a really great note . . . most of my class even earned a little extra computer time for their good behavior! I was pretty excited. Also, the other 4th grade class earned a root beer float party for receiving 6 compliments on their procedures in just 3 days. When one of the students kindly brought me a root beer float to enjoy, the questions from my kids started . . . "Why do you get that?" "Why did they have a root beer float party?" I explained how they had asked their teacher if they earned a set number of compliments as a class, then they earned a small party ("anything to get them motivated!" he had said). Immediately, one of my kids piped up "We could so beat that!" followed by a chorus of "yeah!" and "easy!" They set a goal on their own of 10 compliments before Wednesday. I gladly agreed that we could have a small root beer float party if they earned the compliments. They were so pumped!
And then they came to school today and acted like they had no idea what it looked like to walk in the hallway, line up, or work with a partner.
Really?
Even after reminders about their challenge, they just didn't seem to care.
Ugh, I just wish I could really motivate them to behave. It's so hard! Yet, it's the little motivators that surprise me, if only they could work all the time. 2 things that help keep my kids calm: if they follow procedures after lunch, we do read-aloud with the lights off and the Christmas lights on. They love it. Also, if they show teamwork with partners, we listen to soft Christmas music during literacy work stations. Amazing how little things like that can make a difference sometimes . . . not all the time, for sure. But every once in awhile, they sure do surprise me.
On another note, the blessed Christmas break is only 4 days away. Hooray!
Listening to the sounds of Charlie Brown Christmas,
Miss Davis
And then they came to school today and acted like they had no idea what it looked like to walk in the hallway, line up, or work with a partner.
Really?
Even after reminders about their challenge, they just didn't seem to care.
Ugh, I just wish I could really motivate them to behave. It's so hard! Yet, it's the little motivators that surprise me, if only they could work all the time. 2 things that help keep my kids calm: if they follow procedures after lunch, we do read-aloud with the lights off and the Christmas lights on. They love it. Also, if they show teamwork with partners, we listen to soft Christmas music during literacy work stations. Amazing how little things like that can make a difference sometimes . . . not all the time, for sure. But every once in awhile, they sure do surprise me.
On another note, the blessed Christmas break is only 4 days away. Hooray!
Listening to the sounds of Charlie Brown Christmas,
Miss Davis
Monday, December 7, 2009
Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story"
Now here's Paul Harvey with "the rest of the story" . . .
Ok, so it's still just me. :) I thought I should update about how things are going, since I am currently doing a terrible job of posting very often. :/ New goal: post once a week, at least.
When my kids came in that Wednesday morning, D-Day, they were shocked. I mean, jaws dropped when they walked in and saw new seating, followed new procedures, and were not allowed to talk to their friends. My mentor teacher walked in and said, "Wow, what's going on, wicked witch?" She knew exactly what had been happening and was supportive of the temporary changes. The special ed teacher also helped me out and we were mean together. Someone brought up something about the word "mean" that I used in the last post, with a very good point. Mean is probably the wrong word--I would never be degrading with my students. Very strict, very firm, and and very different expectations about behaviors--that's what's been going on. Not mean, just necessarily firm and strict. It was time for change.
Since then, some behaviors have improved . . . less extra talking and more attention given to procedures. Some behaviors improved for about a week . . . defiant behavior from a select few students is still going on some. I pulled a few of them from specials to practice procedures last week and had a discussion with them about their choices of behavior in my room. One of them actually admitted that he thought I was "the new teacher who was nice and wouldn't do anything mean." Really, exact words. I also had my first-year residency meeting with my principal, mentor teacher, and university supervisor today whose only suggestion was to make sure that I "put my foot down."
Translation . . . I am still not being as strict as I need to be with these students. I honestly feel like I am being mean sometimes, since I've made the changes in my room. But it was encouraging to hear that I still have room to add firmness to my tone of voice with them. Again, it has been so strange to move from my school in Stillwater where yelling was just not needed, to this school where I am expected not to yell, but as my principal puts it: "put an edge in your voice. They have to know you mean business." I worried that they would disapprove of how I have been handling my class (again, I feel like I've been mean!) but I now know that they understand the difficulty of these kids and the need for zero tolerance on disrespect and defiance must be put into place. Translation = Miss Swamp is here to stay for awhile. :)
On a sort of side note . . . I feel like this is sort of a first-year teacher's worst nightmare . . . I had a parent request to have his child removed from my class. Were my feelings hurt and was I embarrassed at this? Absolutely. But let me provide some background on this "innocent little girl" as her father sees her. She was a new student to the class, and was able to behave for about a month before her arguments with both her classmates and me escalated to office visits and parent phone calls. She could absolutely not get along with anyone and was more disrespectful to me than my other serious problem kids. When I tried to call parents, they didn't answer. But I heard about it when they directly called my principal (without talking to me first) to complain that I wasn't doing anything when his daughter was being "bullied" in class. Now, I had openly spoken about this girl with my other team teacher, my mentor teacher, the special ed teacher, and the principal about how best to handle her and her behavior in class, and took their suggestions. When the parent called to request to have her moved, my principal supported me, I think, for the most part. When I spoke with the other 4th grade teacher, he said not to worry about it and that he would have handled things the same way. I don't know if that's true, but I must say that life has been much easier since she left my class. Is it bad that I don't miss her? What a relief. My only worry was that my principal would see it as me not knowing how to handle my class and students, and also why I was a bit nervous about my residency meeting.
So, back to my residency meeting . . . I was pleasantly surprised, after how I feel like my advisors have seen some poor classroom behavior when they have come to observe, that they really had a lot of positive things to say! My principal commented about my ability to "reach all learners" and "use positive reinforcement so that all students in your class feel successful." At the end of the meeting, she even used the exact words that "she hasn't regretted for a minute that she hired me" and considers me "a great asset to the faculty." Might there be a bit of exaggeration in her words? Yes. But it was still an encouragement to hear.
So, there was a lot to tell about the last month! Someone asked me last week whether teaching was harder or easier than I thought it would be. Without hesitation, my answer was "harder," but I said it with a smile on my face as I've come to realize that this whole year, whether grades and tests show that I and my students have been successful, has been and will continue to be the greatest learning experience of my life. I can only rely on God to continue to teach me and bring me peace and wisdom as I try to keep my head above water for the rest of the year. :)
Ending on a positive note, Christmas break is 9 school days away . . . and then I'll be half done with my first year of teaching. Crazy!
Thanks for all of the advice and encouragement! I hope you are enjoying your Christmas season!
From the Christmas light-strung desk of,
Miss Davis
Ok, so it's still just me. :) I thought I should update about how things are going, since I am currently doing a terrible job of posting very often. :/ New goal: post once a week, at least.
When my kids came in that Wednesday morning, D-Day, they were shocked. I mean, jaws dropped when they walked in and saw new seating, followed new procedures, and were not allowed to talk to their friends. My mentor teacher walked in and said, "Wow, what's going on, wicked witch?" She knew exactly what had been happening and was supportive of the temporary changes. The special ed teacher also helped me out and we were mean together. Someone brought up something about the word "mean" that I used in the last post, with a very good point. Mean is probably the wrong word--I would never be degrading with my students. Very strict, very firm, and and very different expectations about behaviors--that's what's been going on. Not mean, just necessarily firm and strict. It was time for change.
Since then, some behaviors have improved . . . less extra talking and more attention given to procedures. Some behaviors improved for about a week . . . defiant behavior from a select few students is still going on some. I pulled a few of them from specials to practice procedures last week and had a discussion with them about their choices of behavior in my room. One of them actually admitted that he thought I was "the new teacher who was nice and wouldn't do anything mean." Really, exact words. I also had my first-year residency meeting with my principal, mentor teacher, and university supervisor today whose only suggestion was to make sure that I "put my foot down."
Translation . . . I am still not being as strict as I need to be with these students. I honestly feel like I am being mean sometimes, since I've made the changes in my room. But it was encouraging to hear that I still have room to add firmness to my tone of voice with them. Again, it has been so strange to move from my school in Stillwater where yelling was just not needed, to this school where I am expected not to yell, but as my principal puts it: "put an edge in your voice. They have to know you mean business." I worried that they would disapprove of how I have been handling my class (again, I feel like I've been mean!) but I now know that they understand the difficulty of these kids and the need for zero tolerance on disrespect and defiance must be put into place. Translation = Miss Swamp is here to stay for awhile. :)
On a sort of side note . . . I feel like this is sort of a first-year teacher's worst nightmare . . . I had a parent request to have his child removed from my class. Were my feelings hurt and was I embarrassed at this? Absolutely. But let me provide some background on this "innocent little girl" as her father sees her. She was a new student to the class, and was able to behave for about a month before her arguments with both her classmates and me escalated to office visits and parent phone calls. She could absolutely not get along with anyone and was more disrespectful to me than my other serious problem kids. When I tried to call parents, they didn't answer. But I heard about it when they directly called my principal (without talking to me first) to complain that I wasn't doing anything when his daughter was being "bullied" in class. Now, I had openly spoken about this girl with my other team teacher, my mentor teacher, the special ed teacher, and the principal about how best to handle her and her behavior in class, and took their suggestions. When the parent called to request to have her moved, my principal supported me, I think, for the most part. When I spoke with the other 4th grade teacher, he said not to worry about it and that he would have handled things the same way. I don't know if that's true, but I must say that life has been much easier since she left my class. Is it bad that I don't miss her? What a relief. My only worry was that my principal would see it as me not knowing how to handle my class and students, and also why I was a bit nervous about my residency meeting.
So, back to my residency meeting . . . I was pleasantly surprised, after how I feel like my advisors have seen some poor classroom behavior when they have come to observe, that they really had a lot of positive things to say! My principal commented about my ability to "reach all learners" and "use positive reinforcement so that all students in your class feel successful." At the end of the meeting, she even used the exact words that "she hasn't regretted for a minute that she hired me" and considers me "a great asset to the faculty." Might there be a bit of exaggeration in her words? Yes. But it was still an encouragement to hear.
So, there was a lot to tell about the last month! Someone asked me last week whether teaching was harder or easier than I thought it would be. Without hesitation, my answer was "harder," but I said it with a smile on my face as I've come to realize that this whole year, whether grades and tests show that I and my students have been successful, has been and will continue to be the greatest learning experience of my life. I can only rely on God to continue to teach me and bring me peace and wisdom as I try to keep my head above water for the rest of the year. :)
Ending on a positive note, Christmas break is 9 school days away . . . and then I'll be half done with my first year of teaching. Crazy!
Thanks for all of the advice and encouragement! I hope you are enjoying your Christmas season!
From the Christmas light-strung desk of,
Miss Davis
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Miss Viola Swamp
So, I have refrained from posting for the last almost 3 weeks for a very specific reason. Teaching has been making me miserable. I decided it would be best to not post my very negative feelings about the job I thought I would love.
Why have my last few weeks been so terrible? There is a very simple answer. Poor classroom management on my part (much ado to my lack of experience, I hope) has made life in my classroom simply awful. Now, I must say that I have some extreme cases that make life more difficult to begin with (serious family problems and home lives, DHS cases, the list goes on) but that doesn't excuse the fact that my kids are behaving the way they have been. I was too easy in the beginning. I have come to realize that loving and teaching these kids in high poverty and broken homes looks much different than loving and teaching the well-supported kids back in Stillwater. I have been struggling with why the same classroom management techniques aren't working here . . . simply, they are a completely different demographic of kids, with a completely different set of needs.
I have been embarrassed by my kids' behavior not only in the classroom, but outside of it. Comments from other teachers (and the principal) make it more and more obvious that we've got a problem in my room. I've got 4 girls who cannot go a few minutes without exploding into an uncontrollable argument and 3 kids with serious defiant attitudes that have to stop. Today was the last straw . . . something's gotta give.
After a good cry on the special ed teacher's couch in her room (she's a lifesaver and I wouldn't be making it through this year without her) and some suggestions from other teachers, there is a new game plan. I've got to be mean . . . like, really, really mean. No more excuses or arguing. I'm done.
Are you familiar with the book Miss Nelson is Missing! ? In the story, Miss Nelson is a sweet, nice, soft-spoken teacher whose class becomes out of control. One day, instead of Miss Nelson, a substitute comes in . . . "Miss Viola Swamp." She is terrible and mean and scares the kids into what we consider to be "acceptable behavior." In the end, Miss Nelson "returns" though it shows her scary Miss Swamp outfit peeking out of her closet. Her kids were so thankful to have her back!
Starting tomorrow, Miss Swamp will be replacing Miss Davis for awhile! Desks have been rearranged, privileges are being pulled, and the nice, quiet teacher is officially going to be absent for awhile. I'll let you know how it goes!
P.S. I had my first formal observation from my principal this week, and it went fine, though I was super nervous! My kids managed to control themselves for the 15 minutes she was in my classroom.
From the determined desk of,
Miss Davis
Why have my last few weeks been so terrible? There is a very simple answer. Poor classroom management on my part (much ado to my lack of experience, I hope) has made life in my classroom simply awful. Now, I must say that I have some extreme cases that make life more difficult to begin with (serious family problems and home lives, DHS cases, the list goes on) but that doesn't excuse the fact that my kids are behaving the way they have been. I was too easy in the beginning. I have come to realize that loving and teaching these kids in high poverty and broken homes looks much different than loving and teaching the well-supported kids back in Stillwater. I have been struggling with why the same classroom management techniques aren't working here . . . simply, they are a completely different demographic of kids, with a completely different set of needs.
I have been embarrassed by my kids' behavior not only in the classroom, but outside of it. Comments from other teachers (and the principal) make it more and more obvious that we've got a problem in my room. I've got 4 girls who cannot go a few minutes without exploding into an uncontrollable argument and 3 kids with serious defiant attitudes that have to stop. Today was the last straw . . . something's gotta give.
After a good cry on the special ed teacher's couch in her room (she's a lifesaver and I wouldn't be making it through this year without her) and some suggestions from other teachers, there is a new game plan. I've got to be mean . . . like, really, really mean. No more excuses or arguing. I'm done.
Are you familiar with the book Miss Nelson is Missing! ? In the story, Miss Nelson is a sweet, nice, soft-spoken teacher whose class becomes out of control. One day, instead of Miss Nelson, a substitute comes in . . . "Miss Viola Swamp." She is terrible and mean and scares the kids into what we consider to be "acceptable behavior." In the end, Miss Nelson "returns" though it shows her scary Miss Swamp outfit peeking out of her closet. Her kids were so thankful to have her back!
Starting tomorrow, Miss Swamp will be replacing Miss Davis for awhile! Desks have been rearranged, privileges are being pulled, and the nice, quiet teacher is officially going to be absent for awhile. I'll let you know how it goes!
P.S. I had my first formal observation from my principal this week, and it went fine, though I was super nervous! My kids managed to control themselves for the 15 minutes she was in my classroom.
From the determined desk of,
Miss Davis
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